anger

Beating Anger 101

What is anger and where does it come from? Let’s take a quick overlook and see what it is that gets our blood boiling and how we can tame it.

Example #1: You’re working at your desk on an extremely important project. A colleague or family member walks by and simply HAS to talk to you, completely disrupting your chain of thought. You get mad - can’t they see you’re trying to get something done?

Example #2: You have plans to meet a friend and they cancel last minute. You get mad - don’t they know how excited you were to go out or see them and now you can't. 

Example #3: You have a spectacular job interview and are sure you’re getting hired… but you don’t. You get mad - don’t they know how hard you worked to get the interview for your dream job!?

What does each scenario have in common? You. You’re getting angry because things aren’t going the way you want them to. Each person inflicting anger in the above scenarios simply had other plans for themselves than you did… and that’s ok. Your universe is not theirs and theirs is not your own. 

How to let go of anger? Change your point of view and expand your compassion. Try to see why others are doing what they do - why is it something important to someone? What are people going through? What sort of difficulties are they facing? 

I won’t lie to you, I was guilty of having had a short temper with certain scenarios and certain people. I’d get frustrated because they wouldn’t behave a certain way I thought they ought to. The root of my anger and frustration was my inability to see why people acted the way they did. As I grew - mentally and physically, I learned to study my emotions as they unfolded. I learned to guide my thoughts from “they should not be acting like that” to “what makes someone act in that way… what is going on in their world to make them behave like that”?

I’m feeling frustrated? Ok. Deep breath… what is causing this feeling? Why am I so angry? How can I change the situation I find myself in? If I cannot change the setting, how can I change my reaction to the events? Reevaluate the situation and challenge yourself to understand rather than react. In doing so, you’re putting space between yourself and the object of your irritation. Take a few deep breaths. Calm your mind. Rethink your reactions. Beat your anger.